Are You Creating Your Own Misery?

Automatically transcribed, so the wording is close but not exact.

Macie: Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of This Is Not Your Practice Life Podcast. My name is Macie, and I'm so excited that you're joining the podcast today. Let's take a moment just to talk about technology. I have recorded for the last three weeks podcast episodes for you guys, only to have technology issues that have deleted all of them. When I tell you that the EQ skills required of me right now to show up and proceed and press on when I've been so frustrated is so real. And that is one of the many amazing things that EQ skills, having EQ skills will give to you. It's the ability to bounce back, recover, keep going, honor your commitments, even when life is throwing those annoying limits.

So you may also notice that video quality may be a little bit different because My phone was having some serious issues. My laptop didn't have the webcam that would allow for great quality. So we have upgraded. I overnighted a microphone and here we are. We are going to pull this together. I can't with the technology issues. The one other thing that I want to say before I get into today's topic is just to remind any women listening out there, I know this episode is coming later than I wanted it to, so you might miss it. But I am running Whole and Magnetic, my newest mini program that is coming soon. It doesn't come until August 11th, but I'm giving women the opportunity to come to the first call free to see a little snippet and a little taste of what we're gonna be talking about.

Granted, it's not quite the same experience because you have to self-print your workbook and I have. Lots of ideas and I'm doing something very special for this program, but it gives you a taste of what you can expect. So if you've been feeling like your nervous system is a little dysregulated, if you've been feeling like you're disconnecting from yourself, maybe you're overwhelmed, you're burnt out, maybe you know there are things that you need to address and go inward to do, but you haven't been doing it. Maybe it's impacting your energy, your romantic relationships, your friendships. Coworking relationships, family relationships, relationships with your kids, whatever it may be. Stress can really just take us out of the game.

So I want you to be able to learn how to come back to yourself, how to really feel whole. And when we feel whole, we become very magnetic. So come to this freebie. It will be tomorrow, July 21st at 8 p. m. Eastern, which is 7 p. m. Central, 6 p. m. Mountain. 5 p. m. Pacific. And I would love to see you there. Just make sure you're following me on social media or on my email list so you don't miss the opportunity to sign up for this because this is going to be the last time that it runs for free. Okay. I can't wait to see you there. All right, let's talk about are you creating your own misery? And I really want to talk about this because as a human, it's very easy to get into cycles and patterns of complaining.

Of wanting things to change and things not changing. Or maybe you are someone who has grown and evolved and you've changed, or you are changing, but the people around you are not. And sometimes we can get stuck in that pool, pool of what they have going on inside of themselves that energetically feel like it's really dragging us down along with them. So It's either that sometimes we get stuck in our own misery and complaining cycles, or we're surrounded by people who are in constant misery and complaining cycles, and we can feel really impacted by that. So, what I want to talk about is why. Why do we get into these cycles where it becomes really easy as human beings to just complain and complain and complain and stay stuck when we ideally know if If something needs to change, or if we want something to change, we're gonna have to do something different.

It's kind of like the quote that Einstein has said, and I am probably gonna butcher it just so you know it's not gonna be exact. But Einstein says something along the lines of the stream of consciousness, like the problems that you've created currently through your current stream of consciousness cannot be the same. stream of consciousness you take to fix the problem I know that I butchered that and I apologize. But it what it really means is that the brain that has created where you're at right now and the life you have right now and the experiences that you're having right now can't be the same operational brain that takes you into the the place you want to be, the changes you want to make.

Your stream of consciousness Your brain waves, your patterns, everything has to evolve and change and grow in order for you to actually change things. So why is it that we actually stay stuck in misery or complaining when we don't have to, when it's truly an option? And I think that there are a few reasons why. One, when we are stuck in a cycle of complaining or misery, what we have done is we have taken thoughts. That we've had about a certain situation. So maybe you are miserable when it comes to a certain person in your life. You're miserable around your job. You complain a lot about your job. You complain about money, not having enough money. You complain about the people in your life. You complain about where you live.

You just complain. Okay. And when you do this, your brain gets used to this pattern. It gets so used to the words that you have strung into a sentence and the sentence that you have chosen to repeat to yourself. Over and over and over again. And once the brain gets stuck on autopilot, it's very hard for us to just come out of it. So someone can say, You know you can change this, right? And maybe you, if you are in a growth pattern and you're dealing with someone in your life that's doing this, you might even say to them, Hey, you know you can change this, right? This is it's available that you can change it. And maybe you get resistance. That resistance is I would have to change all of my sentences.

that my brain believes to be true. I would have to change my patterns. I would have to change certain behaviors. I would essentially have to decide to be a different version of myself in order for this to change. And that is really difficult to do for us. We have to have intentionality around anything that we want to change. And here's the caveat there's a certain level of emotional intelligence required to even know that changing this or changing in general is available to us. And it's actually called self actualization. So self actualization can be measured on an EQ assessment. If you are in my audience, if you've ever taken an EQ assessment, you will know exactly what your self Actualization score is.

And that is your want to be better, your want to grow. You having the awareness and the wherewithal to self improve. So if someone's EQ is low enough to where their self actualization is not really high up there on their EQ assessment, they may just want to swim in that misery and Also find people like misery loves company, find people who will do that with them because that feels safer and easier for them than doing anything different. So the how of how you actually change this is one, you have to notice yourself doing a lot of complaining. You have to notice whenever you're in a spiral of misery and negativity because it's so contagious. A lot of times we are the sum of the people we spend the most time with.

So even if you are more of, let's say, a positive thinker, if you start hanging around people who are constantly complaining, they're constantly miserable, you're probably going to adopt some of that as well, or you're going to feel very negatively impacted by that energy as well. It's really going to be challenging for your brain to stay out of that when that is what you're surrounded with more than you're not. So you have to be really intentional if you are trying to grow, not to Surround yourself with that kind of behavior and pattern in other people. And if you are the person doing this, you have to know, and I'm going to say this with so much love, you have to know that that is optional.

You have to know that currently your brain has lots and lots of evidence for what isn't going to work, what isn't going to change. And you're going to probably fight for your beliefs and your patterns as if they're the Only thoughts and patterns available to you because you've never done anything different. So what you have to know is there is a different way. If you don't want to be this person swimming in misery constantly, you don't want to be someone that complains about everything constantly, you have to make the decision to change it. And I say this because I was there before I met my coach. I would complain about everyone in my life that needed to change for me to feel better. I would complain about what I didn't like in my job.

I would complain about not having enough money. I would complain about everything, thinking that maybe if I complain enough, someone will hear me or help me. Maybe if I complain enough, something will actually click one day for for me to have the wherewithal to change. But the truth is the complaining and the staying in misery doesn't do anything. It's I want to get out of this. I don't want to feel like this anymore. And I want to actively seek the ways That I am going to have to grow, evolve, and change in order to feel better in my life. And when you look for that, you will find that. So there's another saying, what you focus on grows, meaning if you focus on what you don't like in your life, you're going to see more of what you don't like.

You're going to attract more of what you don't like because the brain's job is to protect you and our ego fights to be right. So what you focus on becomes In your awareness, all around you, surrounding you. And that is what you think is the truth. That is your perception of what's true in the world. Okay. So when someone else offers that another way is available, you have to be willing to get out of your own way, to quiet your ego, and to actually trust that there is another way. And then you have to focus on what you actually desire, what you actually Actually want so that your brain can start looking for that. It's the same thing as our there's a part of our brain called the reticular activating system, RAS.

And that part of our brain is designed to look for what we tell it to look for. So if you've ever been interested in buying a new car, maybe you want, I don't know, a red Porsche, or maybe you want a white Toyota Camry, or maybe you want a black Range Rover. When you tell your brain, that's what I want. Your brain goes to work for you subconsciously to try and find as many Black Range Rovers or white Toyota camries or red Porsches as it can. Okay. So it's looking for that for you. It's trying to build in the evidence of like, you told me to look for that. That's what I'm gonna look for. The same is true for your brain with everything else. If you're like, I'm so miserable and you're complaining all the time, and you're like, this sucks, and this sucks, and my job sucks, and everybody at work sucks, and money sucks, and I don't.

I don't have enough and I can't make enough and you're complaining that way. Guess what your brain is going to continue to show you all of the evidence for that. All of it. Whereas if you're someone who's like, I want to see the good, I want to start practicing gratitude. I want to really love and enjoy my life. I want to change what's not working. I want to find people who will help me. I want to make changes. That's what your brain's going to start looking for. And before you know it, you'll end up with a random book that someone suggests to you or a random podcast, or you will bump into someone who's like, you were saying that you are looking for a new job. Hey, I have a new job over here.

I mean, it can literally be as simplistic as that, as just noticing what you're currently doing and knowing, like Einstein says, that the stream of consciousness that has gotten you here to the problem. Can't be the same stream of consciousness you take with you to fix the problem. I think that is more about what Einstein says now that I think about it. That was the quote. Like it can't be the same one to fix it. The same stream of consciousness that created the problem is not going to be the same stream of consciousness that fixes the problem. Okay. So you have to want things to change. And as long as you want that, and as long as you train your brain to start looking for that. It will show you evidence of it.

It will present you with opportunities to make it better. Maybe you even found this podcast today because you're in the complaining, you're in the misery, you want to change. You Googled something or you searched something on your laptop and it brought you to this video. That's exactly what I mean. Your brain is now being trained to look for what it wants, not what it doesn't want. It's looking to Change the pattern and change your stream of consciousness, not keep you in the same one, but it's all in what you ask for and all of what you are aware of within yourself and all of what you notice and all of what you take control of in the responsibility you have to change what's not working in your life.

Okay. So if this resonates with you today and you are a woman and you know there are certain things that you've wanted to change, you haven't figured out how to change them and you're ready for that. Really truly, I invite you to come to Hole and Magnetic while I have one more opportunity for you to attend for free. This will eventually be a mini program that's added to my collection, but for the meantime, you get to have a little taste of what it's going to be like. I'm going to do my best, even though you're going to be printing a portion of the workbook. If it's something that you love, you'll have the opportunity to actually do the full program and you'll get all of the professionally printed materials.

I will mail everything to your house. You won't have to worry about a thing except for showing up. And it's gonna be worth it, I promise you. So it's tomorrow, July 21st, okay, Tuesday at 8 p. m. Eastern, which is 7 p. m. Central, 6 p. m. mountain, 5 p. m. Pacific. And I look forward to seeing you there. I'll put the link in the show notes so that you can easily sign up and make sure you get the emails. All right, I'll see you soon. Bye.